I Hate Phone Calls And I Refuse To Feel Bad About It

Say real ah - if you call me out of the blue, and it’s not an emergency, I will be really pissed off.

It’s not because I despise human interaction. Phone calls are just not my vibe.

This is 2025. You can send me a text on WhatsApp. You can buzz me on Telegram. I wouldn’t even be mad if you DM-ed me on Instagram or Facebook. Even an email that “hopefully finds me well” is more welcome than a surprise phone call. There are so many ways to communicate with someone that don’t involve suddenly demanding their full attention.

Hear me out, this is me pleading my case for Gwen v. Phone Calls.

Text me like a normal human

If it’s not urgent, just text me. Seriously. You and I both have a million things going on. Texting lets me respond when I’m ready, without completely interrupting what I’m doing. Whether I’m on the MRT, in a meeting, or just emotionally not ready to speak to another human being (aka every morning), a simple “Hey, can I call you about XYZ later?” is perfect.


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This could’ve been an email

This sounds like a corporate meme but it’s true. If this could have been typed out, it should have been. I get frustrated when someone calls me to tell me three pieces of info that could’ve been neatly listed in an email or message.

Also, paper trail ftw - I would’ve had a written record of it to refer back to. No need for “I thought we agreed on XYZ.” Besides, most of the time, I actually end up sending an email after the phone call, summarizing what was said on the call. Talk about a good use of time.

My phone is always on silent - deal with it

I don’t even remember what my ringtone sounds like anymore. My phone’s been on silent mode since 2018 (I think) and it’s staying that way. Why? Because the sudden ring of a phone feels like a jump scare. How do people hear their ringtones and not have a primal fear response?

It's intrusive, unexpected, and usually not necessary. Silent mode is self-care. Except when I can’t find my phone around the house (which is only twice since 2018, I think?).

Calling without warning is just… rude

Unless you’re bleeding on the street, a call for help, or locked out somewhere, don’t just call me with zero notice. It’s like showing up to someone’s house unannounced. It's polite to give the other person a heads up before calling rather than ambushing the person.

Just drop me a text: “Hey, are you free for a call?”. And if I say, “Sorry, can’t do it now but tomorrow works,” I’m not being difficult, I’m trying to give you my full attention at a time when I’m actually able to. Also, chances are if you tell me the agenda, I will come armed with answers to all reasonably possible questions. That won’t happen if you just decide to spring a call on me.


IMAGE: 123RF/WONDERWALL.SG

Unknown numbers are sus

I am super sus about unknown numbers because of the high volume of scam calls I’ve gotten. These days, it’s like one call every few days or so. It used to be ignoring only the +65 numbers, but scammers are getting smarter and even answering the regular numbers is like a landmine nowadays.

I’ve had calls from people pretending to be banks, telcos, and “ICA officers” telling me that I have a package stuck at customs that needs picking up. Needless to say, I ain’t calling back unless someone drops me a text explaining who they are.

“Quick call” is the biggest lie ever

“Quick call?” is what my boss would always tell me when I first joined the company.

The next thing I know, it’s been over 30 minutes and we spent the first 5 on small talk, I’ve already mentally checked out, and now he’s talking about some other client issue that has already been solved yesterday. There is no such thing as a quick call. And if it can really be done over a quick call, then just send me a WhatsApp or Teams message.

This should be the new normal

The last time someone told me, “Ugh, why don’t you just pick up your phone?” I shrugged, then texted them back.

Because I refuse to feel bad about not wanting to engage in a communication method that gives me the emotional equivalent of being chased by a wild boar. (And if you’re Singaporean, you know that’s a possibility.)

I’m still here. And I care about you. Just… via text please.

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