Why Is Mum Still The Default Cook? Here's How Dads Can Share The Labour
Given the cost of living, dual-income families are becoming the norm. But whether Mum works from home or goes to the office, she usually ends up being the default cook of the family!
And while there's no rule saying women must be the family cook, somehow, while most couples share household chores nowadays, culturally, mum always ends up in the kitchen.
Eating out daily isn’t a healthy option, nor is it always affordable. After a long day at work away from her children, the last thing most mums want to do is slave over the stove and stress out about getting a healthy meal out in time before everyone gets #hangry.
Sound familiar, dads? This International Women’s Day (8 March), take a moment to see how you can better support your partner and step up to share the (often invisible) load of cooking for the family, especially when both spouses are working.
Here’s how you can help your partner with the responsibility of cooking every night:
Be realistic about how long it takes to prepare meals
The point is to have a wholesome family meal together, not for her to get frustrated trying to whip up multiple courses tailored to everyone's tastebuds. Reset expectations, think big picture and aim to have a healthy but quick and fuss-free meal. Breakfast for dinner is always fun (think simple eggs with some greens, sausages, and air-fried hash browns).
And just because you aren’t comfortable cooking, doesn’t mean you can’t do the basics. Fried rice, 15-minute noodle soups, and steamed broccoli can all be made without much effort. No shame if some of the dinners are cold (think: sandwiches and salad) or if they consist of soon-to-expire ingredients that you randomly threw in one pot.
Make your groceries work for you
Speaking of ingredients, buying the ‘right’ ingredients to help mum save time in the kitchen is an easy and useful way to help support your partner. Don't just wait until the vegetables spoil or until she runs out of soy sauce - help her keep track of what needs to be restocked, especially if she's the primary cook. Be a more efficient shopper by buying pre-cut or ready-to-eat frozen vegetables. Ditto for a rotisserie chicken that you can use up in several different ways, over a few nights (instead of buying raw chicken and then spending hours roasting it), as well as canned, ready-to-use protein-rich beans or lentils, and bottled sauces and salad dressings. Having a well-stocked pantry with good staples is a must for throwing together a decent meal in a rush!
Don't forget to include healthy, wholesome snacks, which Dad can help serve to the kids while mum’s getting dinner ready. Nuts, veggies sticks or even some fruit are all good options to keep meltdowns at bay and to resist the temptation to order delivery.
IMAGE: 123RF
Invest in smarter gadgets
Husbands, listen up. Most slow cookers require almost zero prep (or knowledge), so you can help out by taking on a few slow cooked dinners. Literally just throw all the ingredients in the pot without needing to julienne or sauté, and let it cook all day while you’re both at work. Likewise, having an air fryer can help shave off precious minutes when it comes to roasting vegetables or ‘frying’ with minimal oil, and it’s very easy to use. Same goes for a pressure cooker, which helps compress time, especially when you normally need to stew something for hours. Kitchen gadgets might not seem cheap at first glance, but when you use them practically daily, they’ll pay for themselves in no time.
Prep meals on the weekends
Weekdays get busy with work and likely picking up children from childcare and the evening flies by. Help your partner prep bulk meals on the weekends, so that you can either defrost them for the weekdays, or have to minimally add something to them for weekday meals, rather than her having to start cooking from scratch every evening.
While you’re at it, weekends are a good time to start learning a few basic dishes yourself and expand your own cooking repertoire so you can occasionally take over the cooking, and give your partner a break.
Be creative with leftovers
Instead of cooking something new every night, it’s easier (and cheaper) to cook one protein and reinvent the leftovers for the next few nights. For instance, if you’re cooking chicken, cook a few extra chicken breasts for later. Shred the leftovers and repurpose them in everything from a chicken salad to fried rice or chicken porridge.
Designate something as your fail-proof family meal
Pasta and sauce from a jar. Or a cheese omelet and kimchi fried rice. Even the least confident dads can help chop vegetables for a salad! It doesn’t matter what it is, but decide on at least one quick meal that can be ready in a jiffy and is something the kids will eat without complaining. Knowing that you have a fallback can make all the difference when you’re running short on time (and nerves).
IMAGE: 123RF
Give everyone responsibility
Get the kids involved with dinner too. Depending on the age of the kids, dad and kids can help mum with small things like rinsing the vegetables (dad can help with cutting), washing the rice, or setting the table. Getting kids involved in the kitchen both saves time and leads to more healthful eating habits. Bonus: The more hands-on they are, the more likely they are to want to expand their palate and taste more things.
Be grateful and acknowledge Mum’s efforts
Helping peel fruits, keeping stock of the pantry, washing the dishes and cleaning up after dinner (while mum gets the kids ready for bed), are just some of the small ways in which dads can help support mum in the kitchen, treating cooking as a shared responsibility rather than solely placing the burden on her. Say thank you and appreciate her!
It’s important also to be flexible - on days where she’s running short on time and patience, gently encourage her to order a healthy delivery order or just eat out as a family.
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