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8 Wedding Favours That We Really Don’t Want To Receive At Your Wedding Banquet

If you’re going to give us any of these at your wedding lunch or dinner, we’ll much prefer you to save the money and make a donation to a charity of our choice, like “The Royal Society of Recycled Wedding Gifts”.

1. Anything with your faces on it

It’s all very sweet but do we really want to drink our morning coffee every day out of a mug with your wedding photo printed on it?

2. Anything personalised

And since we are on the topic, never give us anything personalised with your wedding date (your spouse needs to remember that, not us) or with your names. Or your favourite inspirational message. Anything personalised is only meaningful to the person receiving it if it’s personalised with the recipient’s name or lucky fengshui numbers.

3. A pair of pewter bells

Still don’t know what these are meant for – 13 years after I first received them at someone’s wedding. Do I ring each time I need a taxi?

4. Fruit cake in holey plastic cling film

If you want to serve wedding cake, serve it at the lunch or dinner itself. It’s 2019 and that’s more modern than giving each guest a pre-cut cube of marzipan-crowned, misshapen, soggy fruit cake to bring home.  

5. Anything edible

Actually, don’t give us any food as wedding favours. Homemade sugar-free granola, exotic yak-milk-flavoured almond nuts or single-origin chocolate – they will all crumble, disintegrate, melt, expire and rot by the time we remember to eat them. Like, two months after your… sixth wedding anniversary.

6. Chopsticks. Or a spoon

Yes, I really love the idea of adding the lone heart-handled spoon to my kitchen drawer of ceramic spoons. Wait, did you say it’s not a culinary spoon but a decorative spoon? Or having a pair of golden chopsticks when I already have 12 pairs at home.

7. Scented candles

The modern-day version of potpourri sachets, they may fit in brilliantly with your “Romance In The Air” theme but not in our evening purses or hands – the latter which we need to shake yours with later at the end of dinner.

8. Gifts for him, gifts for her

You probably paid your banquet team $1,000 more to make sure that they place alternate gifts of a men’s wallet and a women’s coin purse on every table. But no, thank you. 

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