Impress Your Football-Kaki Partner With This UEFA Champions League 2025/26 Cheat Sheet
Your partner up at 3am on a Wednesday night, yelling at the TV? Yup (and maybe unfortunately for you), it’s football season again. It’s the UEFA Champions League 2025/26, where Europe’s biggest football clubs battle for the ultimate bragging rights.
If the words “VAR” and “offside trap” sound like advanced calculus, we got you. This cheat sheet breaks down the star players you need to know so you can impress your football-kaki partner during date nights, group chats, or whenever you need to pretend you’ve been watching football since forever.
Manchester City 🏴
Star player: Erling Haaland
Support this team if: You like chaotic football that dominates the opposition. City were already terrifying before Haaland arrived. Now they’re just unfair.
Why your partner loves (or hates) Haaland: He scores so often it feels like watching one of the new Marvel movies on repeat - predictable, but somehow still fun.
His character in 10 words or less: The Terminator. He'll be back.
What you can casually drop in conversation: “Wow, he’s the fastest to reach 300 career goals and once scored five goals in a single Champions League match.”
If he were in a K-drama, he'd be...: The intimidating villain who turns out to be a misunderstood softie by the second last episode.
Chances of winning the Champions League: 🏆🏆🏆🏆 / 5
Real Madrid 🇪🇸
Star player: Kylian Mbappé
Support this team if: You only like winners and don’t care what people think about it. Mbappé is the guy your partner warned you about: fast, flashy, and with a bank account bigger than small nations.
Why your partner loves (or hates) Mbappé: He sprints faster than you can place an order for Chagee before closing.
His character in 10 words or less: Says “I’m not competitive,” but flips the table when he loses.
What you can casually drop in conversation: “He won the World Cup for France before he could legally drink.”
If he were in a K-drama, he'd be...: The impossibly cool male lead who everyone falls for, even your ah ma.
Chances of winning the Champions League: 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 / 5
Bayern Munich 🇩🇪
Star player: Harry Kane
Support this team if: You love everything German. They’ve practically dominated their domestic league for decades. Also, Kane looks like your polite neighbour who’d help you carry groceries… and then quietly score a hat-trick.
Why your partner loves (or hates) Kane: A goal machine and a good lad. Actually, why the hate?
His character in 10 words or less: Dad who insists on leaving early “to beat the traffic.”
What you can casually drop in conversation: “Before he moved to Germany, he never won a major trophy in his life even though he was considered the best striker in the world.”
If he were in a K-drama, he'd be...: The loyal second lead you should marry but don’t.
Chances of winning the Champions League: 🏆🏆🏆 / 5
Liverpool 🏴
Star player: Mohamed Salah
Support this team if: You enjoy flair with a dash of humility. This season, they are also playing for their fallen teammate who sadly passed away in a car accident (RIP Diogo Jota). Salah is the King of Egypt and a Liverpool legend.
Why your partner loves (or hates) Salah: He runs along the wings (the sides of the pitch), then flashes that wholesome smile when he scores.
His character in 10 words or less: Gym bro who looks ripped but insists he “barely trains.”
What you can casually drop in conversation: “He once donated an ambulance centre and gave millions to fight COVID-19 to his hometown.”
If he were in a K-drama, he'd be...: The hardworking underdog who finally gets the girl in the last episode.
Chances of winning the Champions League: 🏆🏆🏆🏆 / 5
Chelsea 🏴
Star player: Cole Palmer
Support this team if: You like chaos energy. Chelsea is unpredictable even though they are the current World Champions, but Palmer is their one shining light.
Why your partner loves (or hates) Palmer: Scores super goals and celebrates like he is feeling cold. You know, because his name is “Cole”.
His character in 10 words or less: That one intern who suddenly becomes the boss’s favourite.
What you can casually drop in conversation: “Manchester City sold him, and now he’s outscoring half their squad.”
If he were in a K-drama, he'd be...: The cheeky younger brother who steals the spotlight.
Chances of winning the Champions League: 🏆🏆 / 5
Barcelona 🇪🇸
Star player: Lamine Yamal
Support this team if: You want to support a winning team filled with young players. Yamal is probably the youngest in the squad at 18 and already bossing defenders like it’s nothing.
Why your partner loves (or hates) Yamal: Truly the next Lionel Messi. In fact, Messi held Yamal in his arms when Yamal was just a baby.
His character in 10 words or less: Annoying little cousin who keeps beating you at video games.
What you can casually drop in conversation: “He’s literally younger than the iPhone X.”
If he were in a K-drama, he'd be...: The overachieving prodigy who infuriates the rest of the cast.
Chances of winning the Champions League: 🏆🏆🏆🏆 / 5
Paris Saint-Germain 🇫🇷
Star player: Khvicha Kvaratskhelia
Support this team if: You’re a football hipster who loved “that indie band” before they blew up. Kvaratskhelia brings football flair to the defending European champions.
Why your partner loves (or hates) Kvaratskhelia: Wild dribbles, mad skills, and a name that sounds like you’ll score 134 points in Scrabble.
His character in 10 words or less: That artsy friend who refuses to wear anything mainstream.
What you can casually drop in conversation: “Kvicha Kvaratskhelia is pronounced koo-EE-cha koo-ah-RAHT SKEH-lee-ah”
If he were in a K-drama, he'd be...: The eccentric second male lead who you’re rooting for in the secondary plotline.
Chances of winning the Champions League (again): 🏆🏆🏆 / 5
Arsenal 🏴
Star player: Bukayo Saka
Support this team if: You want to support a team that never gives up, even if they don’t always deliver trophies. Saka is Arsenal’s Starboy, carrying the club with a grin.
Why your partner loves (or hates) Saka: He cuts in from the right side of the pitch to deliver amazing passes or unbelievable goals.
His character in 10 words or less: That classmate who always did the group project properly.
What you can casually drop in conversation: “The name “Bukayo" means ‘joy’ in the Yoruba language. Also he scored Arsenal’s 2000th Premier League goal against Aston Villa on 19 Mar 2023.”.
If he were in a K-drama, he'd be...: The sweet male lead who buys you snacks and defends you from bullies.
Chances of winning the Champions League: 🏆🏆 / 5
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