Silent Observers: Surprising Things Kids Notice Without You Knowing

Heads up, adults! Just because a child hasn’t said anything, doesn’t mean they haven’t noticed. Kids are way more observant than we think, taking note of everything around them. And it’s not just what they hear – they pick up on behaviour, reactions, and attitudes too.

Here’s where adults need to be more self-aware around kids:

How you feel about your body

We’ve all had those moments when we moan about being overweight or having too much fat. But as adults, our body issues shouldn’t spill over to how children see themselves.

It’s heartbreaking to hear young kids, especially girls, feeling self-conscious about their bodies. Why should having chunky thighs or a bit of a tummy matter at their age?

Kids are absorbing all the negativity adults express about their own bodies. They’re learning what we consider attractive or acceptable based on societal norms.

I used to feel insecure about my weight and would avoid being in family photos. But now, I know better! Sure, I’d love to lose a few kilos, but I’ve come to realise that it’s more important to show kids that a healthy body is worth being grateful for, even if it’s not perfect.

We need to teach them to rise above body image issues and focus more on overall health and wellbeing.

Your attitude towards food

Kids notice not just how we feel about our bodies, but also how we approach food. Our eating habits, whether healthy or indulgent, make a big impression on children. If you’re snacking on junk food but also skipping meals and feeling guilty after eating cake, that’s what your child will consider normal.

To help them develop a healthy relationship with food, we need to model balanced eating – even when it comes to treats. Show them that moderation is key, and they’ll grow up with better food habits and a healthy relationship with food.

IMAGE: CANVA

How you treat your partner

They say the best gift parents can give their kids is a happy, loving home. If you’re blessed to have a supportive and respectful partner, your child will notice how you treat them. It’s not just the loud arguments kids pick up on – they’re also watching your body language and small gestures, like frowns or eye rolls.

How you interact with your partner or close family members shapes how they’ll behave in relationships. And indirectly, your behaviour will also influence how they feel about certain people in their lives. If they see love and respect, they’re more likely to feel secure, confident, connected, and emotionally in tune with others.

Your lack of self-compassion

I’ve learned (the hard way) that kids mirror how we handle mistakes, perfectionism, and self-criticism. If you’re hard on yourself every time something goes wrong, your child is likely to follow suit when they face challenges.

When adults lack self-compassion, kids become critical and unforgiving towards themselves. On the other hand, if they see you taking things in your stride, being gentle with yourself, and staying positive, they’ll learn to be kinder to themselves too. They’ll pick up grit, resilience, and the understanding that mistakes are just opportunities to learn.

What you actually value

I’m a big fan of telling my kids, “Do as I do, not as I say.” Preaching will only get you so far when kids are little, but older children (from age five onwards) need more than just words. They want to see you “walk the talk too, and not just talk”.

If you’re saying one thing but doing another, kids will pick up on the hypocrisy. Being honest and consistent in your actions will show them what you truly value. And hopefully, they’ll develop their own strong value system as they grow.

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