Baby Talk: What To Prepare Before Your Confinement Nanny Arrives
I was so busy the month I gave birth that I completely forgot to prepare for my confinement nanny’s arrival until she Whatsapped me to ask if we’d acquired our confinement herbs. Oh right, I said, and thus began a mad scramble to assemble everything she’d need for her stay in my home.
To make your last few weeks of pregnancy less stressful, I’d urge you to start the process a month before your estimated due date, just in case your lil’ bub arrives early (mine came out two weeks before expected, meaning my poor in-laws had to run around town buying this and that).
Here’s what you’ll need and when:
A mattress and/or a bed
Check the fine print in your contract - some confinement nannies’ contracts require that you provide a bed or a mattress of a certain height (one popular agency asks that the mattress be at least 10 centimetres).
Since I hired a freelance nanny, I was free to choose what type of bed she slept on. Regretfully, I bought an air mattress in a bid to save space, realising only later how uncomfortable it’d be for my 60-year-old confinement lady.
In the end, I bought a 10cm foldable mattress from Shopee. I know it can feel like a waste of money to buy a bed or a mattress that you’d only use for a month, but keep in mind that most nannies are erm, advanced in age and that this person will be carrying, feeding, and burping your baby at all hours. The last thing you want is for her to incur back pain from a saggy mattress. It doesn’t need to be Tempur, but it should at least provide some back support.
Sheets, towels, and a clothes hamper
It’s important to assume the role of a host and provide your nanny with some basic necessities: two sets of towels, two sheets, a blanket, and a clothes hamper, to start. She’ll likely bring her own toiletries, but you can always provide a basic set as a hospitable gesture.
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Confinement herbs and other ingredients
You can either buy these pre-packaged or a la carte from shops such as Eu Yan Sang, HockHua, or Dragon Horse. Pre-packaged bundles can be a little more expensive, but since the mental load of pregnancy is heavy enough, go for the former, especially since packets are often conveniently labeled by day – this will save your nanny the effort of mixing and matching when preparing your food. All she will need to do is choose the soup packet needed for that day and boil its contents with your fresh ingredients.
Aside from the herbs for your soup, you might want to consider ordering the following:
• Confinement tonic, which is a type of cooking wine that nannies to make “warming” food
• Confinement bath packs
• Chicken essence, which my nanny advised me to drink whenever I felt a little tired (which, let’s face it, was every day when I was recovering from childbirth)
As for fresh groceries, once you’re in the hospital preparing for labour, ask your husband to text the nanny about what ingredients she’ll need ahead of her arrival. These generally include a lot of fish, pork, and sesame oil–if possible, enlist a family member or your helper to pick them up so that your nanny will be able to whip up a meal as soon as you arrive home.
Cooking equipment
While I was blessed with a conscientious nanny, not everyone will take care of your items - I’ve had friends whose kitchen equipment got scratched, melted, or otherwise irreparably damaged due to misuse.
So until you can trust your nanny, put away your collection of Le Creuset and let the nanny cook using less-than-precious equipment.
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Tip: Do you have a helper? Preempt her about the nanny’s role and responsibilities
Ideally, your nanny and helper will work in tandem, with your helper overseeing cleanup and laundry while your nanny focuses on cooking, baby care, and mummy’s recovery. But the lines can get blurry when you need your helper to assist with the baby as well. Plus, some nannies welcome help in the kitchen or can even give the helper pointers on cooking, sterilising bottles, and on juggling housework and baby duties. Sounds like a dream, but you don’t want your helper to feel infringed upon or to get confused about whether she’s supposed to take cues from you or from the nanny.
Before the nanny comes, give your helper a heads up on her roles and responsibilities. Share with her any boundaries or expectations–for instance, does she need to wash the nanny’s laundry? Will the nanny cook for her, or will she cook her own food? And if the baby cries while you’re busy, who should attend to her first – the helper or the nanny?
Tip: Manage your parents’ and in-laws’ expectations
Keep in mind that while nannies might be famously good at cooking, your confinement nanny’s primary responsibility is to take care of you and the baby. That means you shouldn’t expect her to cook three meals a day for yourself, your husband, your parents, and any other relatives who are sharing your space, unless you’re okay with her spending more time in the kitchen than with you and your newborn.
The nanny might oblige and prepare more food when your parents or relatives come over to visit, but if you either live together or dine with them every day, then you should set boundaries ahead of time. Let them know in detail about what the nanny can and can’t do, and most importantly, work with your husband as a united front so they know you mean business.
Likewise, you should let your nanny know about any house rules or boundaries that you have with family members. While my own parents and in-laws respected our space, I know women whose female relatives would barge into the room while she was breastfeeding just to “kaypoh” or see the baby. Sure, some mothers are fine with this, but if you’re not, tell your nanny ahead of time so she knows to bar the door.
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Remember to prepare two sets of ang pow
It is customary to prepare a red packet for your nanny both when confinement starts and when it ends. Check your contract to see whether there’s a minimum amount, otherwise, you can prepare roughly $50 when she arrives, and a minimum of $100 for when she leaves, depending on how much you liked her services.
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