Why Do Singaporeans Overplan Their Holidays? I Tried Doing Less On A 3D2N Getaway

Here’s a hot take: I believe that Singaporeans are incapable of going on holiday without turning it into a mini project. The tendency to over-index and maximise our short getaways is real. Our overly-stimulated kiasu brains just can’t help themselves.

Give us three days and two nights somewhere and somehow we will try to squeeze in 10 attractions, 3 restaurants, 2 cafes, a massage, shopping and one “hidden gem” we saw on TikTok.

By the time we fly home, we need another holiday to recover from the holiday. I know because I am guilty of this too. It is ironic then that, in my relationship, I actually play the role of the lazy traveller.

My girlfriend is the planner. And when I say planner, I mean the Type A planner. She likes knowing where we're going, what we're eating, how we're getting there and roughly what time we're doing it. If Google Maps ever introduced a feature allowing you to pre-plan your toilet breaks, I suspect she'd at least consider it. I’m exaggerating, of course. Mostly.

But one of the things I love about travelling with her is that she genuinely puts effort into making our trips worthwhile. She researches places, finds things we might enjoy and makes sure we don't waste precious time wandering around aimlessly. I, meanwhile, am perfectly happy wandering around aimlessly. But still, I’m guilty of wanting to clock in my 10k steps even without a destination in mind.

So when we recently celebrated her birthday with a quick getaway to Thailand, we found ourselves trying something different. For once, we didn't want to maximise the holiday. Given the haze situation in Indonesia, and the fact that it's the rainy season in Thailand, it almost feels as if the universe is telling us to stay put and plonk ourselves somewhere for our mini vacation.

Why we chose Phang Nga for a relaxing 3D2N getaway

Our 3D2N holiday needed to come with a chill pill. We had just come back from travelling around Europe, so the idea of another big, expensive holiday wasn't particularly appealing.

But it was my girlfriend's birthday, and we still wanted to get away somewhere special.

Her requirements were actually pretty reasonable. We can’t go to a "typical" Singaporean tourist destination, yet it had to be within budget, therefore within the Southeast Asian region. We also didn't want to burn through more than a Friday's worth of annual leave.

So that more or less ruled out the usual suspects. That strikes out the likes of Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, Bali, and Phuket. And because we're Singaporeans, there was also an invisible fourth requirement: It had to be far enough away to feel like we went somewhere, but not so far away that getting there defeated the purpose of a weekend trip.

Eventually, I stumbled across Phang Nga in southern Thailand.


The view from our resort balcony overlooking Phang Nga Bay was spectacular | IMAGE: IFFAH HAMAD

It's about an hour's drive from Phuket, but feels very different from the more commercialised parts of the island. Instead of rows of beach clubs and tourists fighting for the same Instagram photo, Phang Nga is much more about rainforests, mountains, natural scenery and that slightly slower pace of life.

Which, as it turned out, was exactly what we needed.

The unexpected joy of doing nothing on holiday

Our stay at Sametnangshe Boutique was probably the biggest clue that this was not going to be a traditional Singaporean holiday.

The hillside resort sits high above the surrounding landscape, overlooking Phang Nga Bay, of the Andaman Sea.

We woke up to these ridiculous panoramic sunrise views. Normally, this is where my partner’s itinerary brain might have gone into overdrive.

Sunrise. Breakfast. Activity. Lunch. Next activity.

But Mother Nature had other plans. You see, we were smack dab in the middle of the rainy season in Thailand. So torrential rain blanketed the skies for the majority of our trip.

Essentially, there was nowhere we urgently needed to be. We were holed up in the resort with amenities within our reach. No "quick, we have to leave in 20 minutes". No checking Google Maps to see whether we're behind schedule. Just two people sitting down and enjoying the view, with the occasional Netflix binge-session and going down to the cafe for meals. All in all, I found it incredibly relaxing and soothing. It forced us to slow down.

Hot tub with a view at our resort | IMAGE: IFFAH HAMAD

Sometimes you don't realise how much joy you can get from doing nothing until you finally give yourself permission to do it. Consider it a form of “room rotting”. It's obviously not the most glamorous term. But sometimes I genuinely think room rotting is an underrated holiday activity (especially if your room comes with a jacuzzi).

How different travel styles can lead to overplanned holidays

I should probably clarify something before my girlfriend reads this and decides I'm secretly complaining about her. I'm not. If anything, I appreciate her planning more than I let on.

I'm the sort of person who can happily arrive at an airport and only then start thinking about what I'm going to eat.

She is the reason we have reservations, know where we're going and occasionally manage to find places that I would never have discovered myself.

Her travelling style comes from a good place. She wants to make the most of our time together. And I understand that.

Especially when you're taking time off work, spending money and travelling somewhere you've never been, it is tempting to feel like you need to squeeze every last drop out of the experience.

But I think that's where Singaporean kiasu culture sometimes follows us overseas. We are so used to maximising everything, whether it’s our credit card miles, grades, salary or CPF investments.

Then we go on holiday and decide we should maximise that too. At some point, can we just... not?

Finding time to slow down at a spa in Phang Nga

Mantra Forest Spa is one of the largest wellness retreats in Southern Thailand | IMAGE: FARHAN SHAFIE

One of the only places we visited outside of our resort was Mantra Forest Spa, which offered a completely different experience from the usual Thai massage-and-leave routine.

There were herbal spring pools, including turmeric and pandan-filled jacuzzis, as well as Thai mud baths. You had to purchase a day pass, which gives you full access to each custom pool. Honestly, we could have spent hours there without feeling like it was wasted time.

Why doing less on holiday isn't a waste of time

This brings me to my last point. If I spend three days somewhere and come home feeling genuinely rested, doesn't that count as a successful holiday?

One of the only activities we did at the resort was a private cooking class with a hotel chef, making Pad Thai, and even then it was an impromptu decision | IMAGE: FARHAN SHAFIE

If my partner and I spend an afternoon talking nonsense over coffee instead of rushing to the next attraction, does that somehow make the trip less valuable? I don't think so. In fact, those are often the moments I remember most.

This doesn't mean I'm suddenly anti-itinerary. Again, please don't tell my girlfriend that. There are plenty of things to do around Phang Nga. The province is known for its natural scenery and also gives travellers access to places such as the Similan and Surin Islands.

You can absolutely build a packed itinerary if that's your thing. But the beauty of our trip was that we didn't feel compelled to. We picked a few things we genuinely wanted to do and left the rest open.

That small change made the entire trip feel different. Instead of asking, "What do we have to do today?"

We could ask: "What do we feel like doing today?" or "How are we feeling today?" That's a surprisingly powerful reframing of the standard question. Especially when you're on holiday.

Maybe we need to stop treating holidays like work

Let’s face it; Singaporeans are pretty good at working or being locked in to their work.

We put up with long hours. We answer WhatsApp messages after office hours. We check emails while eating dinner. We complain about being tired and then somehow find the energy to queue 45 minutes for the newest cafe everyone on Instagram is talking about.

So when we finally get a few days away, perhaps we don't need to bring the same mentality with us. A holiday doesn't have to be productive.

You don't need to return with 3,000 photos, eight new restaurants ticked off and a spreadsheet proving you got maximum value out of your hotel room.

That's especially true when you're travelling with someone you love. Of course, everyone has different approaches when it comes to travelling with their significant other. But personally, the compromise isn't that my partner suddenly has to become spontaneous or that I suddenly need to start making colour-coded itineraries.

It's about meeting somewhere in the middle. She can plan the important stuff. I can remind her to slow down and enjoy the breathtaking views and change of pace without the need to squeeze every last drop out of a 3D2N getaway.

Honestly, after years of treating holidays like a race against the clock, that might be the most relaxing thing we can give ourselves.

And if that means spending half a day in a jacuzzi, treating ourselves to absolutely stunning views of paradise, why not?

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