Parents in Singapore Get More Leave. As A DINK, I’m Okay With That

Dear Members of Society,

Last year, I wrote an open letter about why my husband and I chose to be a DINK (double income, no kids) couple. I explained that we don't hate children, our marriage isn't incomplete, and our decision isn't a temporary phase we picked up from TikTok. I ended the letter with a request:

"Let’s support each other along the way."

But support is easy when it costs us nothing. The real test comes when another person’s needs affect our workloads or wallets. Even just a little bit.

After the family-support measures announced at the National Day Rally, it suddenly feels more real. Working parents will eventually receive 8 days of childcare leave a year if they have one child aged 12 or below, 10 days if they have two, and 12 days if they have three or more. Every eligible Singaporean child will also receive around $70,000 in direct government support from birth to age 17, including a $10,000 Baby Gift and $2,000 in annual Child Credits from ages one to 16.

I can already hear the furor in everyone's group chats.

"Since parents get more leave, who is going to cover them?" "No kids means we have to work more?" "How come they get all the benefits?"

As a DINK, I can see where they're coming from. When you're the one absorbing urgent work or joining a meeting that somehow became your problem, the inconvenience feels real. Child-free employees ≠ spare manpower. We have responsibilities and lives outside our jobs too. Some of us are also caregivers.

Still, as a woman who has consciously chosen not to become a mother, here's where I stand: if I'm not going to have children, the absolute minimum I can do is not make life harder for the people who are.

I opted out of parenthood, not Singapore

Choosing not to have children doesn't mean I opted out of contributing to Singapore. I still work, pay taxes, support the people around me, and try to be a decent member of society.

But raising the next generation is undeniably one of those ways.

Parents are doing the long-haul assignment I decided I wasn't suited for. There's no annual performance bonus for surviving a toddler meltdown at FairPrice, and you don’t get extra time off in lieu for a 3am fever.

If that's someone else’s contribution, mine can include making a little room for them to do it.

That doesn't make me less valuable than a parent. It doesn't mean that every child-free person owes every parent unlimited favours forever. It simply means we live in a society where our choices are different, but our futures are connected.


IMAGE: ADOBE STOCK

Their children are part of my future too

I read that Singapore’s preliminary resident total fertility rate fell to 0.87 in 2025. TL;DR, we're not having enough babies to replace ourselves.

One day, my husband and I will grow old too. We’re going to need doctors, nurses, pharmacists, bus captains, technicians, and hawkers who still know how to make proper kopi. We'll rely on a functioning economy and healthcare system.

The taxes and labour of a smaller working generation will have to support a much larger elderly population, including people like us, who didn't add children to that future workforce.

That doesn't mean anyone should have a baby "for the nation". Please don't place that pressure on people, especially women. A child is a lifelong human responsibility. My husband and I remain comfortable with our choice, and no government baby gift will make us panic-buy a stroller.

But I can hold two thoughts at the same time: parenthood isn't right for me, and it's important to make parenthood more manageable for those who genuinely want it.

12 days is still less than 365 days of parenting

Think about it. 12 days across an entire year isn't exactly a luxury. Children get sick. Schools close. Appointments happen. Sometimes a parent simply needs to be present because a small human cannot reschedule a fever for after office hours.

At work, I've covered colleagues who were away for reservist duty. I have absorbed duties while co-workers took long-planned trips. They've done the same for me when I go on my holidays. Most of us probably spend more than 12 working days a year adjusting around one another’s leave, deadlines, illnesses, and random life events.

And honestly? If you gave me a choice between covering a colleague during parental leave and personally spending years raising a child, I would still choose the former. Every single time.

But… your child-free colleague is not the default manpower plan

Supporting parents cannot mean repeatedly dumping their work onto the same child-free employee and calling it teamwork. If one person’s absence causes the whole department to collapse, the problem isn't childcare leave. It's understaffing.

Getting annoyed at your colleague for using an entitlement meant for caring for her child is like blaming the person holding an umbrella because it's raining.

Managers need to plan coverage properly. Extra effort should also be seen and acknowledged. Not rewarded with yet more work because someone has proven they can handle it.

Just as importantly, flexibility shouldn't be treated as a parents-only benefit. A child-free employee may need time to care for an elderly parent or deal with an at-home emergency. Our personal commitments don't become less legitimate because they don’t involve a child.

Fairness doesn't always mean giving everyone the exact same benefit. It means recognising different needs without taking the most accommodating people for granted.


IMAGE: ADOBE STOCK

"Let’s support each other" has to mean something

I still believe in the words I wrote last year. But respect can't flow in only one direction. If I want parents to accept that my child-free life is valid, I should accept that their need for greater support is valid too.

So yes, I may cover a meeting. I might roll my eyes privately when three deadlines land at once, because I'm still human. Then I will direct my frustration where it belongs: bad planning or inadequate staffing.

That is a much smaller commitment than raising the generation that all of us will eventually depend on.

The bigger picture is worth remembering. This was never only about me, me, me, or you, you, you. It's about us.

Parents, DINKs, fur-parents, plant-parents and everyone in between: I meant what I said the first time. Let’s support each other along the way.

Now comes the part where we actually do it.

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